Several Saturday mornings ago my wife and I went out for breakfast. So did a great many other people! But regardless, we put our name on the restaurant waiting list for an available table and settled in to listening mode for our name to be called.
Ahead of us was a large family and friends group of 10 adults. They seemed to be gathered from several different places to share time together over breakfast conversation. At least it appeared that way.
Since that group of 10 was ahead of us on the call list we were aware of the effort by the restaurant to prepare the table space and arrangement so that their large party could be seated together. Finally, they were called and took their place. Then, just some minutes later we were called and seated at a table for two which turned out to be nearly contiguous to their party of 10.
Breakfast orders in respective places were taken by the wait staff. But then we noticed that the table of 10 seated next to us had become very quiet. The quiet was a “loud” quiet as a silent group of 10 in a very public place was most noticeable. Aware of the silence, we looked over thinking maybe there was a collective prayer being said or that something was happening that had moved everyone in the large group to silent mode.
There was indeed a reason!
Everyone – EVERYONE – in the large group was individually on their respective smart phones. They were physically together. They had ordered breakfast. Now they were each sitting next to or in proximity of each other waiting for breakfast to be brought to the table but not talking with each other. Each person was in communication by text with someone – or a group of someones – far away.
There were other possibilities.
Each person in the group of 10 could have been watching TikTok, checking sports updates, reading emails or texting. Perhaps some were trolling the net or just playing solitaire. There are lots of possibilities. But one thing was held in common. They were sitting together physically but each person was, for all intents and purposes, somewhere else.
I am not making a judgment. I am only making what is now a common observation. Lots of us can be in the same place physically but lots of us who are in the same place can be looking at the device in our hands with rapt attention and pretty much oblivious to what is going on right around us, across from us, or NEXT TO US!
Again, this is not a judgment. It is just an observation of another sign of our times which is confounding. We are together. But we are too often alone with our thoughts and engaged somewhere else other than in the present and fully aware of the location in which we find ourselves.
This holds a great deal of danger for it seems that we are a people who have become accustomed to distraction from the present moment.
Maybe distraction can have its advantages and is even helpful in some settings and situations. To be sure there is a great risk in occupying the present moment and being distracted from it.
In our various distractions we allow or become comfortable having blind sides. We are at risk of being in an isolation of our own making amidst the collective experience of being rather oblivious to what is going on around us. We are susceptible to being use – and perhaps intentionally abused – by malicious others who profit from our lack of attention.
This past fall Antonio Guterres, General Secretary of The United Nations, gave an address at the Opening Session of the General Assembly. Part of his remarks included this sobering observation, and perhaps warning, of our distracted times. He said this:
“…social media platforms are based on a model that monetizes outrage, anger, and negativity…it buys and sells data to influence our behavior and is compromising the integrity of information systems, the media, and indeed democracy itself.”
We are most certainly at risk when we are not interacting with those around us. Our distractions or various discontents and discombobulations can be manipulated. It is hard to imagine, but in such a climate politicians might even make money selling T-Shirts celebrating their indictments. Is there no shame?
There most certainly is a risk in not being involved with our present context and opportunities for conversation, learning from one another, or just enjoying real company. We are at risk of being manipulated by “platforms” getting our isolated attention which are monetizing outrage, anger, and negativity. Current efforts by far too many to win electoral support for public office is most certainly an example.
Efforts underway to win party nominations and popular support for public office by demeaning, dividing, and exploiting fears, prejudices, and tragic misunderstandings of our world, its people, and history is an example.
The most recent GOP “debate” clearly shows how true this is. And indeed, if candidate Vivek Ramaswamy is the face of the future of the Republican Party as many pundits and pollsters now allege, social, historical ignorance and bigotry propelled by isolated, media palm reading will lead to further self-justifying divisions.
From ancient times one of the great forces which held people together and blunted the ever-present forces of extremism which isolation of people makes possible, was the weekly gathering of communities of diverse individuals in worship and discussion.
Church buildings, synagogues and temples being sold and “repurposed” across this country are glaring examples of our growing lack of gathering in groups of 10 or of any size for discussion, worship, and mutual care. It is all being replaced by a great deal of isolated going online with what may confirm us or encourage us in our various entertainments or substantiation of our various fears, prejudices, and misunderstandings.
Breakfast gets served. But there is a growing silence at the table… and more and more cries of outrage, voiced conspiracy-theories passing for facts, and a disregard for the general welfare of the republic in our streets.
Can we not turn off the phones – at least at our various tables – talk with one another, maybe even learn to enjoy each other’s company, and improve the search for and digestion of truth once again?