On Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, I attended a service commemorating his life and impact on this nation and our world. The service was at Cleveland’s influential and historic, Greater Abyssinia Baptist Church on East 105th. I took a seat in a pew in the sanctuary not far from the front of the chancel.
On the wall behind the chancel was a large video screen. Cameras positioned in the balcony at the rear of the sanctuary were making it possible for people sitting anywhere in the sanctuary at any distance from the chancel to have a close-up view of the various speakers making presentations from the pulpit. The camera angle also showed the back of the heads of people sitting in the first several rows of pews on the screen as well.
As I sat in my pew and viewed the screen, I saw the back of the head of an older man sitting in a pew right off the center aisle. The man had a head of very grey/white hair with a bald spot on the crown of his head. I did not notice such a person sitting anywhere close to me. But as I glanced at the screen while turning my head to see those around me, I came to the startling discovery that the back of the head I was seeing on the large screen on the wall behind the pulpit was mine!
Not accustomed to that particular but very accurate view of the space I occupy in our world; I did not recognize myself!
I admit to having the experience more and more of not recognizing myself in the very real world around me. Perhaps it is more accurate to write that I often do not recognize the world which is around me.
The Church, for instance, now a shadow of itself in community after community, is so very unfamiliar. I have a great deal of difficulty finding myself in the picture of what was once described as the mainline church in America. As local sanctuaries, once sites of thriving congregations, are closing or being repurposed by dwindling numbers of people remaining who struggle to find alternate sources of income, I no longer recognize the church.
I no longer recognize myself in the picture of a number of current realities. The disconnect is often more than disconcerting. Our country and world seem so very different than what once seemed far more familiar. Perhaps I was just delusional.
But now, from the technology of AI on media platforms to the emerging political landscape, to the seeming erosion of the importance of character in those engaged in all manner of public life, the “world” has become so very unfamiliar.
With apologies to the late Aldous Huxley, I am having trouble recognizing myself in this “Brave New World.” It is in fact, at so many points for me, more and more dystopian.
I am helped of course by the wonderful familiarity of loving family. Although even in the wider family the range of perspectives create times of confrontation with a sense of no longer recognizing myself in that picture as well. This is not criticism. Just an admission of dealing with the proverbial “it is what it is.” The “is” is an uneasy truth.
I am helped by reading history and discovering that in a very real sense amid rapidly changing times and cultural experience, we have been here before. History repeats itself and how people in the past dealt with changing ways, political realities, and changing times build confidence that we can navigate the present as well. I can, if I look closely enough, find myself in the picture.
There is also a greater truth and confidence builder. When I grapple with feelings of being lost in the present moment, I rely more and more on the comforting truth that no matter what, GOD FINDS ME. So, no matter how lost I may feel, there is the assurance that ultimately in the ways that matter most of all, I am found.
It is indeed … an amazing grace.